Matchmaker Abduction: Aliens In Kilts, Abduction 1 Read online

  “You and he will accompany us back to Universe 1 where you’ll serve New Earth and all its remaining people in a unique capacity using the acquired learning of your Universe 6 matchmaking professions.”

  “Me? Goddess… ya are taking me with ya too?”

  “Yes, ma’am. I’m really sorry to deliver this news so abruptly. Your Universe 1 self is also dead, as is the first Erin alternate we jumped there. In Universe 6, you’ll unfortunately become one more missing person who vanished without a trace. That sort of incident happens naturally in all universes, so it’s not like the scenario isn’t feasible in Universe 6 space time. Those who miss you will assume you left because the love of your life died so suddenly and tragically of heart failure.”

  “Why would anyone believe such a thing? I’ve never had a husband. I have no love,” Erin declared.

  Agent Black smiled. “With all due respect, ma’am, I was speaking of Mr. MacNamara.”

  Erin was so shocked that she was speechless for a moment. She looked down at Angus still on the ground. Her inner harpy rose to the surface like it always did when someone pointed out her weakness for the most contrary man she’d ever had the misfortune to lust after.

  “Ya are speaking of Angus MacNamara? Ya think he’s the love of my life? Now I know ya are mad for sure.”

  Agent Black rubbed his chin and looked at the other men. They looked at each other and shrugged. Erin heard yet another one speak up, but his comment made little sense.

  “In most multi-verses, Ms. O’Shea is with Mr. MacNamara at some point. This is one of the few where it might never have happened… without some intervention, I mean. The risks are marginal and our options for Ms. O’Shea alternates are fewer.”

  Agent Black turned back around to face her as he spoke. “Then I remain committed to my plan to take you both, Ms. O’Shea. Hopefully you’ll be a calming influence on Mr. MacNamara.”

  “And what happens to me if I don’t fecking want to go with ya?” Erin asked.

  Agent Black—the scoundrel—had the nerve to chuckle at her dare instead of answering her. The last thing she saw was him waving a hand to the man behind him without looking away from her. The dastardly device came up again and suddenly she was falling face first across Angus’s plaid kilted ass.

  Chapter Two

  Universe 1, June 17, 2497 at the Alien Abduction Service…

  “I am Toorg.”

  Erin looked up at the handsome, blond guard who had been assigned to her. The man was shirtless today, just like he’d been every other day since she’d been in this strange place. Handsome as sin the man was, and there were so many like him here that her woman senses stayed on overload from all the man candy strutting around on display.

  “Yes, I know who ya are, Toorg. Good morning to ya.”

  “I am Toorg,” he said more cheerily.

  Erin said nothing more even though he smiled even harder at her, because saying anything else would merely prompt an additional repeat. Nate told her Toorg had several phrases he used for normal self expression, but he mostly spoke only the one with her.

  “Let’s go see Angus,” Erin said, knowing it was permitted. When she’d come back to her senses and realized she was in this strange place, she’d learned they’d put an unconscious Angus in some sort of clear box they claimed was for medical reasons. He’d been in there since they arrived. But they wouldn’t discuss any of what was happening to him with her, so she could do nothing for her peace of mind but keep checking on him.

  Toorg bowed his head. “I am Toorg,” he said again.

  Her soft swearing over the concern in Toorg’s tone could be heard echoing down at least two hallways of the metal facility. Heads actually lifted from the devices in their hands as they slid by on the moving walkway. Apparently it was meant for those too lazy to use their legs.

  Erin lifted a hand to the ones who mildly glared at her outburst, but had no idea if they understood her lame apology or not.

  Most of those she interacted with daily were fecking aliens… actual strangers from other planets, or so Nate said… including Toorg beside her. For the most part, they looked like her or any other human, only larger and more heavily muscled. But they weren’t like humans in all ways. Ya could see it in their eyes when ya were close enough.

  Some days she couldn’t take it in and instead pretended that she’d gone somewhere for a teaching job. Her mind struggled to remain logical, even though she remained in denial about the situation. Yet she’d also never stopped trying to wrap her mind around all she’d been told.

  The people here called this place Universe 1, which was evidently different from where she and Angus had lived. She also had been informed several times that she and Angus had traveled to the future as well—a concept beyond her ability to grasp—and one she’d not experienced since her abductors had rendered her and Angus both unconscious for the trip here.

  As best she understood their story, five hundred years ago in Universe 1, the Earth had been invaded by bad aliens, then months later saved by good aliens, and afterward joined an interplanetary alliance with yet more aliens. Now all the friendly aliens came and went from Earth through some sort of magic portal thing that might have shocked Brighid with its power, providing of course that what she’d been told was true.

  Nate, a handsome doctor who’d cared for her when she’d first woken here, had also taken much care in trying to explain things. Nate said Agent Black had used the alien travel portal to bring her and Angus there, but that their arrival was being kept a big flipping secret from everyone. She and Angus were supposed to quietly replace the Universe 1 versions of themselves who’d died.

  How they expected them to fool everyone was another mystery she hadn’t yet resolved. Given that it was all men telling the stories to her, Erin suspected the portal wasn’t really as magical as Nate made it sound. She had no fecking idea how such a thing worked and probably never would.

  No, her mind was crafted of softer stuff and meant for a different purpose. She understood the hearts of people like herself, their longings and wishes, their emotional journeys. They called their magic ‘high science’, but it was fecking fairy stuff to her way of thinking.

  Lost in her daily frustration with her circumstances, Erin was a bit startled to feel Toorg gently touch her shoulder to bring her attention back to where they were. He silently held the door open to the medical area and met her gaze.

  “I am Toorg,” he said softly, nearly in a whisper.

  Nodding at his consideration, for she’d learned in the weeks Toorg had been with her that was what his lower tone meant to convey, Erin walked into the medical area without him. Her breath caught and her heart beat nervously when she saw the clear box where Angus had been was now empty. Then her relieved gaze landed on his no longer fat arse lying stretched out on a nearby table. She raised a hand to her chest to calm her heartbeat as she neared him.

  Over four weeks in that box and Angus was a changed man… at least physically. She put a hand on his arm. It was warm to her touch, thank the Goddess. She had feared they might turn him into one of the cold ones. Some of the aliens had much lower body temperatures. Their clothing kept them at a chilled level that would have had her building a peat fire in the hearth of her little cottage back home. How she missed that little house now, even the broken cook stove and the misbehaving flue. But Doctor Nate had warned her not to dwell on the past since there was no going back to it. He said it was scientifically impossible. She would have said that applied to nearly everything she saw here.

  “Angus,” she said. “Are ya alright? Speak to me, for feck’s sake. I’ve been waiting weeks for ya to come around. I don’t like being the only one scared shitless here.”

  Eyes blinked open and a turquoise gaze met hers finally. She wanted to lay her head on his chest and weep with relief that he lived.

  “What the feck happened to me?” Angus asked, moving to sit up. Erin O’Shea’s surprising strong hand pushed him back down.
/>
  “No, don’t raise up. Ya have been very ill,” Erin said. “Take it slow for a bit. No one means ya harm that I can tell.”

  “That fellow I drew my gun on did,” Angus said, irritated at the tiredness he felt.

  Erin shook her head. “Ya are talking about Agent Black and he’s the least of our concerns in this place, Angus.”

  His grip on her arm was urgent. “Did they hurt ya?” Angus asked roughly.

  Again, Erin shook her head as she peered into his tired gaze. Men could defile ya when they took a notion, but they’d take a knife to anyone else that tried. All men she knew were just as strange to her as any alien she’d met so far.

  “No one’s hurt me. They’ve all been completely kind. When ya are well enough, I will explain what I know about things. It’s very confusing here, but once ya adjust, they let ya move around with just one guard.”

  “Guard? Is this… is this a prison, then?” Angus asked, his throat parched for a drink.

  Erin could tell Angus was fighting sleep and losing. “No. I don’t think so. It’s just very different from Lisdoonvarna. Sleep now, Angus. We’ll talk in a bit when ya are more alert. They let me come visit ya whenever I want.”

  “Good. Come back soon then,” Angus said.

  She felt him pull her hand to his chest. Even covered with a sheet she could feel the hard muscles beneath her palm. Angus felt under her fingers like Toorg looked. He definitely hadn’t felt like that before the box.

  His action of hanging on to her had her remembering the one and only time she’d found herself under him. Even with no muscles, Angus had shown her a slice of heaven she’d never seen before. It had been wonderful right up to the part where he’d called her Mary just before finding his own relief.

  That passionate madness was water under a bridge neither of them would ever see again. She’d be no man’s whore substitute, not even for the grieving widower who vexed her heart.

  Nine years Angus had mourned his wife and nine years Erin had waited for him to stop. As far as she knew, there had been no woman under him but her. Apparently, Angus preferred the pleasure of his own hand, especially if there was an oversized glass of ale in it most of the time.

  Erin snorted as she stared at the man on the table. “I can’t believe they’d think I’d ever love a wreck of a man like ya, Angus MacNamara. Obviously, the Universe 1 version of me was completely daft. Unless yer version here was made better than ya are ever going to be.”

  She stopped talking and saw Angus was completely unconscious again.

  Running her hand down his chest, she let her fingers bump over all the ridges. Why hadn’t they bothered to do this to her body? She was soft around the middle. Plus, it would have been nice to have a tighter butt and a little better lift to her breasts.

  Thirty-eight wasn’t old by any definition she had of aging, but it wasn’t like she was twenty-five either. Angus felt twenty-five… or at least thirty-five. They’d sent her through some fecking beeping machine and not touched her again afterward. That decision, given what they’d done to Angus, was just one more thing she didn’t understand.

  Angus jerked in response to stroking fingertips and woke under her touch. Her hand had drifted lower than she realized. She snatched her hand away, mostly because it wanted to keep exploring.

  “We’ve been kidnapped,” Angus declared roughly, then rolled his head to the side and slept once more.

  Erin nodded, though Angus could no longer see her response. “Close enough,” she said and patted his chest one final time.

  She tucked the covers around him and laid her head briefly on Angus’s chest to hear his heart beating for a moment. The sound reassured her. Seeing him in that box the first time, she hadn’t known if he’d been dead or alive. She’d screamed at those close enough to hear and wept openly. Some medical person had put a piece of metal against her neck and then she’d gotten very calm.

  She vaguely remembered them explaining to her that Angus was healing from his wounds. But what wounds? Angus and Agent Black had never fought. She had wondered then and wondered about it still.

  It was both blessing and curse that her weakness for Angus MacNamara seemed to be a matter of public record here. Everyone she encountered treated her like a concerned wife, though she was far, far from being that. At least Angus didn’t know she’d worried herself ill over him being in that box. Goddess willing, she’d keep her pride and figure out how to keep him from ever finding out.

  She opened the door and found Toorg waiting patiently. He nodded and for once said nothing to her at all.

  “I guess I’m ready, Toorg. Let’s go see the lasses,” she said in resignation, watching his face beam his delight.

  Chapter Three

  “Toorg!”

  Erin rolled her eyes as a chorus of female voices called out in welcome when they entered the draftees common area.

  “I am Toorg,” she heard him answer proudly, smiling and waving at his adoring fans.

  She also watched his concerned gaze slide to the light mocha-skinned female staring out the window. It covered every inch of the woman before he could make himself look away. It was the same reaction Toorg had every time they entered the room and Prudence was hiding away from everyone in her own thoughts.

  Fifty-seven of the fifty-eight females in the draftee area always called out to her handsome guard, but Toorg seemed only interested in the one who never even turned his way. The alien’s reaction had convinced her beyond doubt that males from every planet were all the fecking same. They wanted the damn hunt more than the catch.

  The good-looking alien could have crooked a finger at any of those who called his name and had what he so obviously wanted. But no—feck no—he wanted the one who ignored him and the rest of the world.

  Handsome bastard had no idea how much Prudence was still reeling from finding out her entire family had been slaughtered in cold blood. The woman was grieving them and grieving them hard. No blond alien god with chiseled muscles was going to hasten the woman’s mourning along.

  Her lips tightened as she stared at her sad alien guard. “I’ll be here a while, Toorg. Take yerself a break.”

  “I am Toorg,” he whispered softly.

  Erin patted his arm. Feck her soft heart. “Prudence’s still hurting, Toorg. Give her time. She lost her entire family and now feels all alone in a world she has to leave shortly.”

  “Pretty,” Toorg whispered even more softly.

  She had quickly learned the boy understood her language perfectly. He wasn’t slow in any regard. He just had limited verbal responses to offer back. And “pretty” was what he secretly called Prudence Sheffield. Though when ya got right down to it, that one word said what was most important for a woman to know a man felt.

  Bowing his head sadly, Toorg left and closed the door behind him. Erin rolled her eyes at his exit. She should be pissed over feeling sympathy for her guard dog—majorly pissed—and she was in some regards. But then she’d see Toorg looking all sad and dejected over Prudence and something in her melted. Her urge to fix his situation was enough to make her scream. The only reason she didn’t was that she’d scare all these other fecking condemned females.

  She glanced at the paper in her hand and made herself read the name. This was the second time she’d done this since coming here. It was obviously not going to get any easier or feel any more right. How had her predecessor ever developed the stomach for it?

  “Mia Johnson, yer number has been chosen. Come see me in the office in fifteen minutes.”

  Ignoring the squealing woman, and the forty-nine others groaning in complaint, she stomped away to what Nate had called her “office”. It was a tiny room with a current view of the same fecking rock Prudence stared at. It didn’t even have a proper desk, just a couple tables. A magical tablet came up and out of one arm of her chair when she needed to write something down.

  Erin turned the seat to face the window. Prudence wasn’t the only one who liked to spend a consi
derable amount of time staring at nothing. It was the only break from the madness she could seem to get.

  Mia poured over the five photos the matchmaker had handed her. “How am I supposed to pick one? They’re all good looking.”

  “Yes. No one could say otherwise without lying,” Erin replied. “Ya are going to want to flip each page over and look at the description of an average day on their planet. Good-looking won’t change near zero temperatures or a heat that will cook the skin off ya. A decent location might make for a more pleasant life long-term.”

  “Only one thing really keeps me happy. I wish these forms rated their bedroom skills,” Mia said, staring at the one photo she kept coming back to.

  Erin grinned and snorted. “That would still tell ya nothing, Mia. Every male thinks he’s the best between the sheets. Have ya not been around enough to know that?”

  Mia giggled. “Yes, but I’ve also been around enough to know some really are as good as they say.”

  Erin shrugged. “Well, I hear ya can try out all the aliens in yer folder, if that’s the biggest criteria ya have for picking. I also hear a couple of them will renege on their offer for ya if ya do. But it’s yer call not theirs. I’m told the important thing is to make a match ya are going to be happy with in the long term. It’s not like ya get a second chance at this.”

  Her first thought after the girl joked about really good men in bed was bloody Angus MacNamara. It was going to be a bloody long life for her in Universe 1 if Angus using her for a substitute for his dead wife ended up being the pinnacle of her sexual experience.

  Maybe she ought to take one of the guards for a spin just to clear her fecking mind of Angus. Someone like Toorg would be perfect if she could set the image of him mooning over Prudence to the side.

  Oh, who was she fooling with her wicked thoughts? She had a tongue on her, but she wasn’t a mean harpy at heart. Being a substitute for Prudence wasn’t going to help her in any genuine way. And Toorg being one for Angus MacNamara would just be cruel.